Every morning I wake up, shower, and brew six cups of coffee in a daze. My caffeine fix is quickly prepared while I bite through a bright green pear, adorned with rough, brown patches that indicate its sweet spots. I then pour myself a cup of coffee, drizzle in a bit of agave and float on to the backyard.
I sit. I let my head fall back.
Instantly, my visual field is filled in by blue, with fluffed pillows of white dragged across its corners. And instantly, I feel microscopic, drowned by the world above.
I like that feeling.
I like the feeling so much that I want to keep sitting and staring, sipping coffee, smoking cigarettes until I'm so light-headed I might as well be a cloud.
Not the right kind of mindset I should become accustomed to.