Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My alarm clock.

C: What does it smell like?
S: Like cuddling at 5:30 a.m.
S: Like feeling safe despite there being no danger.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Heart strings have been tugged

The other day I asked S what constituted a date. Initially I thought it was silly when he told me that it meant being too nervous to finish an entire slice of pizza. How could that be when I love pizza?

He was right.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


I have spent the past few days watching RuPaul's Drag Race. Watching the show makes me feel foreign, yet kind of fuzzy and warm inside. In the show, everyone is just accepted the way they are, always. That one sentiment makes a world of a difference. RuPaul and the contestants are so nice to one another, and despite catty remarks it is clear they are good-hearted. The show has really made me question our society that ostracizes any human being that deviates from the ideal norm.
Those ladies do WORK. And I'm so happy that they found something that makes them truly happy and have decided to pursue it.
They're just a bunch of soulful people living it up, so why does anyone care to criticize that?

Anyway, I decided to put on all the makeup I have to see how much I could level with them.
I couldn't, at all. My makeup collection is much too small to accomplish even a percentage of the queens' beautiful looks.
I guess I know where a part of my next paycheck is going...

Now I just look like an azn club rat.

love, c.

Monday, November 12, 2012

I get flustered easily.

Today I received a love letter at work. Though this sounds like things can get potentially romantic, this story ends with a cold sweat and a knot in my throat, rather than butterflies in my stomach.

It reads:

Hi Carolyn, How would you like to
discuss Haruki Murakami's novels together? Over some tea.
Come 'on say "Yes!"
What do you have to lose?
It'll be fun to talk about
his writings
My #is (---) --------
           John PACKARD

It's clumsy, kind of cute. But in that moment I could only stare at the middle-aged man with frightened eyes. Really, John should know that peering into my face and whispering "Say yes! I like you!" as I ring you up at the register is incredibly creepy. Also, he should know that what I have to lose is my precious time. My time is fucking precious.

The worst of the Monday Blues is over. Happy Tuesday y'all!
love, c.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I am alive + GPOY

My hair is growing, which is exciting and not at the same time. What do girls typically do with their hair? I feel like it has made my mornings a bit more complicated.
I haven't been feeling very inspired to write lately. Any moment I feel the urge to type is extremely fleeting, often distracted by a pending bed time. All I can manage to do at this point is to stay afloat in a sea of readings and work shifts. I'm exhausted, but once I can find a good balance between the two (a process which will most likely involve sacrificing a large portion of my time previously devoted to socializing) I will be feeling much better, I hope.

Add caption

On a happier note, the weather has become increasingly chilly, which warrants steamy hot chocolate and soups, tights and boots, scarves, and other cozy things that make the days so much more fun.

Happy Thursday, world!
love, c.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

My Friday in photos.

After finishing my first midterm and setting up my work schedule (I got the job!) for the following month, I finally had the chance to take part in the frenzy that is Halloween. Albeit a bit early, everyone was in high spirits and the party was full of wonderful characters. I got a bit carried away and may possibly have had one shot too many.. Needless to say, I had a fantastic time.

just got my hair did.

my loves, aka sisterwives, as Ms. Frizzle and Nicki Minaj.

oh, Timon.

minaj photo-bombing.

always face-palming with this girl.
Now that the fun has been had, it's time for me to hit the books! Three midterms in one week--challenge accepted.

Wishing everyone high-quality, premium intoxication for the rest of the weekend.
love, c.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

They roll around every once in a while..

Today has been frustrating, to say the least. If I were dramatic, I would equate life today to a troubled toddler who cannot stop throwing tantrums everywhere you go. But alas, let me leave the drama elsewhere because as much as I'd like to rant about how my day hasn't gone well, I will not feel better by the end of it.
On days like these, my usual recourse would be a bit of ice cream and a no-pants party in my room, most likely with Usher (and friends in tow) as sweet company.
Unfortunately, I have no ice cream today.
Fortunately, I found another way to calm down a messy mind on a messy day--breathing. Simply taking a moment to plop down on the floor in silence and consciously letting the air move through your body does wonders to let things simmer down. Maybe you can do a few stretches, say nice things to yourself, let your mind know you have control and that you will be okay. It sounds awfully silly when it's written out this way. But worst case scenario, it doesn't work, and there will be no harm nor good done to you. Then I suggest a trip to the ice cream factory.

Wishing everyone a happy Club Wednesday.
love, c.

This gave me a chuckle, via?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

The scoop on okcupes.

My recent travels in the online dating world have become a bit stagnant due to my hesitation to meet people in real life. I lack interest and it sounds a bit scary, even with the seemingly friendliest of people.

Conflict 1: Too pragmatic

I thought about John Lee's sociological theory of "love styles" (1973, 1988) while perusing through profiles because I began to feel that online dating, in general, would work best for an individual with what is called a pragmatic lovestyle. It's a lovestyle driven more by the head, rather than the heart. The personality assessment that accompanies online dating is meant to be an efficient way of filtering out people whose lifestyles do not suit yours; however, your match % could never account for the chemistry that you may feel with another person. Opposites may attract, but they're hard to come by on okCupid, especially when differing personality traits are displayed as "enemy %".
Being compatible with someone may avoid conflict, but do they compliment you?

Conflict 2: It's the internet.

This is an issue that relates to the Ross' theories on the internet and sexuality, in that the interwebz has become a "new niche" that fills a particular role in people's lives. In my situation, it filled the role of entertainment and virtual company during my moments of boredom in between lectures, while waiting for friends irl, etc. It works well because interactions online feels like so much less of a social transgression than real-life interactions. Consequently, people can choose not only to be genuine and friendly, but also as creepy or rude as they please without having to take responsibility for the things that were said. So okCupid is a good testing ground for all of your pick-up lines (or raps, which I've also encountered) and you don't have to be embarrassed if you mess up a little bit--just move onto the next one.
Of course, my point here is not to victimize myself. I, too, have enjoyed the lack of commitment to the things I say to strangers on the site. But as a result, when anyone offers to actually meet in person, the thought of actually attaching a physical body to their online username seems odd, and I am left a bit hesitant to share my real-life self in return.

That's my analysis thus far (:
Wishing everyone a fantastic weekend!

love, c.

Monday, October 8, 2012

An afternoon at portapub.

This backyard patio of the pub has become my sanctuary, providing me more comfort than my very own bedroom. 
(There is a minor story of discovering a neat freak among my new flatmates, but I will not be discussing that at length.)
My sociology of food class has opened me up to the snobbery of "foodies", a phenomena that has permeated the cupcake and craft beer industries over recent years. Do I feel a new case study coming along? Yes. And of course, with case studies must come taste tasting and first-hand experiences.. hence my beer at 12:37 pm.

My most recent favorite, via

Wishing everyone a lovely afternoon to combat the Monday blues!
love, c.

Sunday, October 7, 2012


Just wanted to say hello to a dear friend of mine who has miraculously excavated my blog from the depths of the interwebs. I'll try to write only good things about you here..


Happy Sunday, all!
love, c.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

For the sake of research,

or out of sheer boredom, I made an okcupid account last night.

Browsing through the multitude of seemingly apathetic yet clearly effort-filled profiles has been interesting, to say the least. I had previously satisfied my stalking tendencies (and general nosiness concerning others' lives) via facebook, but a few years ago I had exhausted that as a hobby. Now I have an entire new world to discover with people of all ages and sexual orientations, a welcome change from the facebook world where everyone's lives are more or less moving along at the same pace as your own. I'd also like to note that these individuals are seeking not only hook-ups, but also people to hang out with--put simply, friendship. However, I realize that with more browsing and interacting with others, my initial perception of the word "friendship" is subject to change. 

Alas, I have joined the online dating world. Upon any discoveries, a research update shall ensue.

Happy weekend, world.
love, c.

P.S. Crossing my fingers for this next job application I'm about to drop off at the stationery store (:
P.P.S. Apparently there is a way to be successful at online dating. This is already getting a little ridiculous.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Baby steps.

Tonight there was an impromptu dinner party with my new housemates. With three pairs of hands at work, it turned out to be quite the extravagant meal, complete with a hefty glass (well, at least mine was) of wine. Apparently all three of us had a bottle or two in storage, which tells me we're more similar than I had previously imagined. The awkward moments are still very much alive, but the bonding is slowly beginning.
I had such a lovely time. Hopefully this marks the end of the bad luck streak I've been experiencing for the past week.

Speaking of wine, here's a cute gadget for us wine lovers out there. You may experience a lot of judgment when you happen to whip this baby out for a presentation or anything else of importance, but alas, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

via coolcubetoys.com

Happy Thursday, friends. The weekend is right around the corner (:
love, c.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I'm alive and stuff.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind! 
Upon returning from New York I've been seriously considering working there for a year or two after I graduate. Yes, I loved it that much. Taking the subway, the busy and aggressive yet nevertheless kind natives, red brick buildings and fire escapes, the way the air conditioning units peeked out their behinds from flat windows, the liveliness of the city well after midnight, everything.
Not to say that being back in SD has not been a blast--a week long extravaganza of happy hours ensued immediately after my flight landed me back in California. My memories are fuzzy, and I'm exhausted, to say the least. But it really was a blast. Porter's Pub is my favorite place in San Diego by far, still. There is something about the atmosphere there, especially out on the patio, that is so warm and inviting at any hour of the day. Although, weekends at Cheers are always craziest and the $1 draft beers at O.B. Noodle House are always a pleasure. 

Currently I am in the process of fixing my sleep schedule in order to 
a. be alert enough during the day to study, and 
b. help me attend my 8 a.m. lectures like the bright and shiny student I am. 

Wish me luck (:

Wishing everyone a happy Tuesday.
love, c.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Life is moving much too quickly to blog, but

there is always time to be made to speak to my girl overseas.

mi amor.
More thorough life updates to come.
love, c.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Small delights of being home.

1. Deliciously fluffy short-grained rice
2. Matcha body soap (my parents would!)
3. Walks with Kona
4. Answering the landline and "taking a message"
5. The presence of a tv, and all of the awful shows I have the option of watching.

babygirl, always smelling things.

Happy hump day!
love, c.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Happy day.

I spent my Friday night cramming as much of my sociology textbook as I could possibly fit into my brain. At certain points, my body was attacked by bouts of anxiety over how little time was left until my 8 a.m. final the following day. However, I managed. As I drifted off to sleep for a power nap at 5 a.m., I repeated to myself over and over that "I'm going to wake up at 6 a.m."

Needless to say, after all that preparation I was shocked to see that the clock read 8:10 the next time I opened my eyes. Lost in fatigue and utter confusion, my first thought was to jump into the shower. I then proceeded to get dressed, speed my way over to campus and made it one hour late to class--only a minute after the professor had arrived after, apparently, over sleeping.

I get lucky on occasion.

And now it is officially summer vacay, babybear is here and I am worry-free for a couple of weeks. Life is good.

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend!
love, c.

Thursday, September 6, 2012


It was nice to speak to Ce again, despite the fact that she tortured me with an in-depth discussion of how to meticulously maneuver your lips in order to seduce a man. That's what friends are for.
Sweden is much too far away.

Exhausted after practicing flirting tips with an "expert"
Speaking of which, the stronghaus girls encountered several Swedish men on chatroulette tonight. The connections that the interweb creates between people all over the world is truly amazing. Needless to say, technology certainly succeeded in communicating to us how strangers' penises felt in response to a room full of girls crowding the webcam.
In the midst of all the skin that we saw, however, there was a man kind enough to play us Serbian music on his accordion and a little number on his violin. This may be a bit dramatic, but in moments like this a tiny fraction of my faith in humanity is restored.

Now, off to bed for a couple of hours before my 8 a.m. lecture. Tears of joy.

Wishing everyone a lovely evening!
love, c.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Study party my ass...

This used to be my job.

Always faithful company.
After watching a frightening French thriller, Z quickly fell into a slumber and I once again found myself  fighting alone in the battle that is a sociology essay.
This is becoming a pattern.

love, c.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Summer buds.

I'm taking yet another break from paper-writing to post this photo that I like so much. Welcome to the gutter crew, Ce. Your admittance is here revealed on the interwebs.

After A's hilarious graduation party, photo by M (:
Needless to say, I really miss their company.

Wishing everyone a productive night!
love, c.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Only a bit of summer left, so...

Letting my summer time blues subside under the weight of one of my favorite vices. Cheers to all (:

A PSA I can agree with, via.
Wishing everyone a lovely Saturday night!
love, c.

Having a hard time remembering where I left my heart.

Lately the weather has smelled so strongly of Japan that it physically feels wrong to be in California. The humidity combined with the general relax of summer has been rather painfully nostalgic; the disconnect between where I want to be and where I actually am tugging at the diaphragm area of my body. It is a discomfort that I don't know how to rid myself of.
Perhaps it is just time for a change of scenery.

Irvine fest 2012
In other news, Y is leaving for le France tomorrow! We had a nice little hurrah with him in Irvine over tokyo teas and several rounds of sake, and we ended the night with drunken sticky pics.
It is bittersweet to send him off, in part due to the fact that his departure mixes awkwardly with the rest of the haus' first steps into adulthood, life decisions, and on my part the dawdling of such milestones in life. But we are all simply making strides to grow, and I am eased by the fact that I, too, am moving forward in life despite delay. 
To Y: I think I can speak for the entire haus when I say that we wish you lots of adventures, thoughts and feelings. Personally, I can't wait until you feel the butterflies and surreality of being in a different country--that's one of my favorite moments of traveling. 
It's going to be lovely when we have a haus gathering in a year, just to enjoy the company of our ever-so-slightly matured selves. Hope you'll have some good stories.
See you in a bit, and don't have too many mimosas sans orange juice on the plane (:

love, c.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


As A has made me consider a return to Xanga, I took some time this evening to peruse my archived memories. Reading my entries from a time when I felt so low is strange. I can barely recognize my thoughts, yet I remember carefully constructing them into sentences as I sat in my room, listening to the steady hum of the rainbow fan that hung from the ceiling.
There's a small part of me that misses how I wrote back then, with care and detail, a pinch of melancholy and naivety. It is a bittersweet realization to acknowledge that I may never write that way again, without life casually tossing me into the dumps. My blogs now may be short and lack reflection, but I truly am the happiest I've ever been in a long time.

Anyway, here is something I wrote January 23, 2011:
"My black track & field shirt that I wear as pajamas soaks up the sun as I sit, rocking right to left in my shabby wooden chair; its seat no longer attached, but simply resting on four legs, green paint peeling and revealing its grain, swirled with warm hues of, well, wood. I have a cup of coffee in my lap and a cigarette in my hand, feeling glorious as the warm breeze tosses my bangs across my abnormally large forehead. I exhale second-hand smoke into the sky, cloudless and bright fucking blue. A glorious morning, as always.
Y comes out to join the cancer circle as I admire the breeze. We quietly fantasize about being air--constantly moving forward and seeing the entire world with no effort. After I question the cause of wind and waves, I am casually taught about the moon's gravitational pull, the revolution of the earth, its crooked axis and their relation to the sun, eclipses, lunacy, seasons, the flow of life. I am amazed by the way everything naturally falls into place on our planet. I have been taught all of this before in school but it had never stuck until now.
Soon Z and T join us to admire the beautiful weather. None of us are in the mood to read text books. I sit, my coffee cup now sitting empty in the middle of my folded legs, a cigarette filter with a burnt edge still secured between my fingers. They fall into discussion about laziness, its similarity to a gag reflex for knowledge (in all fun and seriousness), lazy-but-loveable role models in the media, male and female character differences, the presence of a pot belly on the male and female body, the charm of the Simpsons compared to South Park and Family Guy, how Ferris Bueller can be similar to Fight Club, that the protagonist is always the character that experiences change. I listen and absorb, occasionally throwing in a comment that never adds to the evolution or progression of my friends' thoughts. Their extensive knowledge and metacognition comes naturally, only as natural and as simple as it is for me to let my bare feet play in the warm dirt beneath. In my freshman year of high school, I was taught to analyze stories in the same way--but again, it had never stuck until now. I had never considered the depths of animated tv shows, their character development or their popularity in my life. What do I think about, ever? In the midst of a 300-seated lecture hall, I am never cozy, excited or attentive. But I also am unaware of where my mind wanders. A professor may think he or she is teaching me something, but all I can do is attempt to regurgitate the facts onto paper during an exam, before it all dissipates into thin air shortly after. Strange, how I learn so much more about the world and metacognition from my friends, as I sit comfortably in my back yard. I don't know how I learn. How is it that I (seemingly) actively participated in 15 years of school and have this little knowledge about anything?

I don't know what I've been doing all my life, what I do between sunrise and sunset. I want to figure shit out. But, in this moment, all I know is that tonight will end with a breakfast burrito from Rigoberto's."

I think it's a great depiction of a calnoovian morning, and the malaise that had sedated me for a little over a year. The person that wrote this seems so far away, and I'm in such a better place now.
Although, I really do wish I was participating in Club Wednesday right now. Some things never change, I guess.

love, c.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Broccoli + egg

I was going to write something poetic about the ground pepper on my fried egg that pleasantly surprised me tied into how ce and I used to eat college student meals like this often and that I miss her but now it all seems silly so instead of letting nostalgia overcome me I'm just going to leave the world with this terribly constructed run-on sentence.

love, c.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Up, up and away.

V just moved out after crashing my place for two weeks. As much as I'll miss his company (and home-cooked meals) (seriously), it's nice to have the flat all to myself again. Nothing is better than hanging out in your underwear when you get home.
On another note, I think I've officially started running again. (I say "I think", because I can never tell how long my resolutions will truly last.) My first two runs have been embarrassingly short, but alas, such are the consequences of smoking. Despite such pains, I'm just really happy to throw my running gear on again. They make my short excursions to the beach and around my neighborhood feel like such an outdoorsy adventure. 
There's something to be said about how liberating running shoes can be. As someone who typically wears flats or little wedged sandals on a daily basis, at times I am a bit resentful that female fashion limits the physical activity I can participate in at any given moment. With running shoes, you can run, dance and climb in places your dainty shoes would like to avoid.
Of course, I can still attempt to break out into a sprint no matter what I'm wearing. But the last time I spontaneously decided to play basketball in my boots, the heel broke. It was sad.
Perhaps it is time to invest in a nice pair of sneakers. 

All by my seeeeeeeelf.

Wishing everyone a pleasant Tuesday.
love, c.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Yolkinator.

V really enjoys practicing his workout moves and sharing his gym experiences with me. Perhaps I should return to my daily gym trips. After all, I am quite fond of listening to my playlist full of outdated middle school rock, even as I run on the treadmill and feel my face turn sweaty and beet red within minutes.
I'm going to let that idea float about while I have a few drinks in Hillcrest..

In my new raglan and necklace!

Happy Thursday, world.
love, c.

My meme.

B-aaaaa-ck, get it?
Thank you, A.
love, c.

Club Wednesday continues..

As I type this, the haze is slowly lifting.
It's always a nice to spend a night watching ridiculous tv with IZ, passing a bottle of wine to and fro while our conversation bounces from school to dating to gossip to the agony of the slowly passing jokes on Family Guy. Faux bored housewives, I guess.
On such nights one must be prepared for a spontaneous excursion to a nearby burrito shop.

Mi muy bonita.
It is safe to say that I've missed her and our couch potato times. And it was worth every tear that was shed after I threw my face against my driver's side window whilst trying to park the car at her place.

Happy Thursday y'alls, and good night.
love, c.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

"Wanna hear something cheesy?

I won't repeat myself.
I thought I know what friendship was, what it meant to be close friends. But I didn't. I thought I did. Till I met you. Now I know.
I have had a lot of friends, close friends I thought but I think the American collage life make people close. Closer than Swedish Uni friends. Thank you for that.
I'm out."

Permanently stored on the internet, tehee.

o_o and :>

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

To save the world, among other things.

It's too soon to tell, but I think this may be what I want to do with my future:

Sociology has been an enlightening field of study, to say the least. I've learned so much more about my world, which is simultaneously a wonderful and difficult place to live in. I leave my classes with new knowledge and angry thoughts about our education system and whether I'd trust it with my own future children, capitalism and whether I'm going to be unjustly exploited with a BA in humanities, excessive media influences that make us all feel awful about our bodies, the list goes on, but ultimately what am I going to do about it
Spread the word, first of all. It helps for myself and others to be aware. And second, I think I actually want to change things through government policies. I'm not sure I know what the occupation entails entirely.. I honestly don't know enough about anything yet to state anything specific, so I'll leave it at that. 
And now it is time for tea and my egg-avocado-bagel sandwich.

Tea time with my cups from China Town.
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
love, c.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Bread, cheese and blueberries.

Good morning, world.
I woke up exhausted so I'm doing all the relaxing I can squeeze into this morning before my afternoon class. There's Marvin Gaye in the background, iced coffee in my hand, and a platter of burnt bread (either the oven hates me or I got too excited with the temperature..) with blueberries and honey goat cheese.

I think I need to start putting myself to bed earlier. Alas, the grandma transformation begins!

love, c.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Wine and fruit.

I can always count on one person to drop by and make my night.
Did I mention I have wonderful friends?

School starts tomorrow. I'm stoked.
Japan in the winter and Korea in 2015. Future plans make me giddy. Time to seriously start applying for jobs (:

Wishing everyone an exciting summer.
love, c.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Snorlax alert.

Ce is sleeping and snoring. I love her but this is unbearable.
On a happier note, I now have an elite badge on my yelp page. I'm not quite sure how I got my hands on one, but now I get a free pass to fancy yelp events!
I would be more enthused had I been getting some sleep..

I miss sleeping. Photo by Ce.

Happy 420, I guess.
love, c.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Summer thoughts and sunshine.

Ce and I are currently staying at M's place that I'm subletting for the rest of summer. The past week has been a never-ending slumber party with good friends, beers, cider and home-cooked meals.

The time passes slowly but pleasantly here. We live amongst piles and piles of pillows in one corner, and red crates scattered across the floor filled with my belongings. It is a haven of sorts, from the sun, the time, the interweb and the pressure of productivity. 
Speaking of M, she left for camp this morning, which leaves Ce and I with a little hole in our hearts, in our now two-person living situation. M has really helped me think about the emotional and mental growth I've done in the past few months. I don't know any other woman who can navigate the world of metacognition so well; she's truly a spectacular human being, an old soul in all of her wisdom and most of all a really wonderful friend to have. I love you, and thank you for teaching me to love myself before others.

M packing for camp.
The rest of this afternoon will be dedicated to beer, chips and movie-watching. Then I'm off to a date!

Wishing everyone in the world a lovely start to the summer.
love, c.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Ceci here again

Caronoda is sleeping on the couch, what a great hostess, so I decided to take over her blog.
It is finals week.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Vino blogging.

I have such wonderful photos from this year, and having wine makes me feel that more sentimental as I peruse through them. 
Ce and I just drove the first half of my belongings to my summer sublet apartment. I hate moving. The idea of taking apart any piece of what I call home leaves me a bit shaken. But alas, only brighter things to come.
Photos from the weekend by A, again.

Hand hug.

Just some people I like.

Me being too self-interested to care about making funny faces.

My hubz and I.
Wishing everyone lots of wine and feelings.
love, c.

P.S. I've been kicking ass on my final exams. One more to go!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Sunday picnic, in photos.

Some of my favorite people.

Picnic food, by Y.

Running away from sandbugs.

Splits fail, in my new favorite hat.

Trading my legs for a mermaid tail.

Transformation complete!

The year is coming to an end and I love these people so, so much. 
love, c.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Happy Memorial Day.

This morning consisted of fruit cider and a bit of baking in le sun. 
I wore my two-piece bathing suit with a pair of shorts out of modesty, but I forgot to consider the fact that they were high-waisted. My new tan is charming, to say the least.

Sun-drying tomatoes.

Love my boos.

Hope everyone had a lovely, relaxing three-day weekend.
love, c.

"You're all new!"

Free beers, fresh spring rolls, Parisian men, windy beaches, day-long shopping trips, fancy Italian dinners with wine, and a midnight trip to the hookah bar.

It has been quite a long weekend. I'm exhausted, but nevertheless left feeling refreshed and polished.

I've shed an old skin (ew) and built a lot of happy memories as my renewed self. I no longer fear having this city to myself next year, even though a week ago I imagined myself wallowing in the absence of the what-I-used-to-haves.
Now, I have better. I feel that I have the permanence of the love and support I desire and deserve. So yes, everything is going to be alright.

Hugs from Andre, named for its champagne color.

Happy Memorial Day (holiday yay), world.
love, c.

Friday, May 25, 2012

I am the terminator

Ceci here, I just broke into Caro's house and taking over her computer. Mohahahahaha.
Anyways, we're just hanging around while we are waiting for her as always. That girl loves her vanity station. But I still lover her.

Hoping to have a great Memorial Day weekend with friends and wine.
Have a good one everybody.
See you on the other side.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Time should be considered a distance.

The camera is focused on you as you stand up from the couch. Bewildered, you look around the audience and set your eyes on me. You wiggle your fingers, asking for my hand.
As you sit back down on the couch with me next to you, Y giggles and says "this is what loved ones are for".

I watch the video clip quietly, as my fuzzy memory is corrected through the camera lens. My heart aches a bit, and my stomach turns. I'm forced to recognize the way my emotions were constructed then, a year ago when my hair was cropped up to my ears, and I walked around the house wearing my pink slippers.


A touch of helium into my self-esteem balloon.

I am beginning to believe that I am a very likable person, no longer only to small children (who see me as their own kind), but also to adults.
I think it's partially because I actually have interest in their studies now, which reflects in the way I make jokes and ask further questions, blah blibbity blah blah..

The main point of this post: I'm so happy to have changed majors.
love, c.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I can tell that we are gonna be friends?

I casually asked my History of East Asia professor what he knew about sexual education in South Korea and Japan today. He took the long way around campus to speak with me, and as I admired his sunglasses lined with rhinestones our conversation digressed into his mild rant about the criticisms he received from students who "don't realize this is just a survey class!"

I'm glad I was there for him to let out some steam (:

Happy hump day, world.
love, c.

P.S. I got an A on my Social Research class midterm.

Happy to be an official nerd. Cheers.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I am surrounded by people that I love that love me back.

Photos from Friday, yet again.

We are happy.

Very happy.
Here my memory is fuzzy.

Dancing jelly.