Saturday, March 31, 2012

Now you're just some Bobby that I used to know.

via ponysneeze
All jokes aside, I really like the Gotye+Kimbra song. It's so pretty, although its lyrics kind of hit close to home. But I guess that's the point of song lyrics, to be relatable, so it resonates through your body and your heart and you believe the emotions that are injected in you through the notes.
I drank a little tonight.

Speaking of drinking, I went out with L and A last night. We sat down for a nice bowl of pho. Well, I had a nice vermicelli noodle plate with egg rolls, as always. Sprinkled with basil leaf pieces, of course, since I can never get enough of those fragrant little herbs. A trip to Trad'r Sam quickly ensued, where the three of us shared a Scorpion Bowl. It tastes like a pina colada inoculated with a mega ton of different liquor (whilst still tasting delicious), and it's served in a bowl that could easily disqualify four people from the driver's seat. It's absolutely wonderful. After feeling plenty buzzed, our table was joined by three kind gentlemen looking for a place to sit. L received a job offer from one man, met a fellow cal bear and I received a nice hand massage.
Needless to say, it was a great evening. It felt so nice to be grown-up and back together with my old friends that have known me for years on end. Comfort at its best.

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend.
love, c.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Indents in my pillows.

On Monday night, I made the 500 mile drive to my foggy hometown.
A few of my friends worried that I'd fall asleep at the wheel (having witnessed my minor narcoleptic tendencies throughout our friendships), but I made it home safe and sound. Thank goodness for my ill-constructed sleeping schedule, which always keeps me awake through the late hours of the night for no apparent reason at all.
Being home has been wonderful. My parents welcomed me home with such warmth. I had forgotten how lovely it is to spend time with them. Aside from the heated table and endless homemade sushi, I really have been simply enjoying their company. They also seem to be more understanding about school--unfortunately, I can't tell if they're truly happy for the changes I have made or if they have given up hope and now have zero expectations of me. Most likely the latter, which sucks. But at least they have accepted the fact and now all I have left to do is live out this life the way I want to. Hopefully something I chance upon in the future will make them proud of me.

Jell-O flan requires minimal body energy to make!

At this very moment, as I carry scoop after scoop of the delicious flan I just made into my mouth, I am comfortable. I am happy to be here. But I'm also happy that in a few days I start school again. I'm excited to power through another quarter of school and prove myself of my capabilities as a student and a human being.
In a perfect world, I would then leave the country for a short while after this school year ends. I feel that I've been sitting within the boundaries of my comfort zone for too long. I've gotten to know this version of myself too well. My life, albeit fun and cozy, has been a little bit routine and lacking in spontaneity. I want to throw myself out somewhere and experience new things, learn more about myself and grow a bit more.
Me, me, me, me, me, I love me. Lately I feel a little self-centered and pretty spoiled.
But honestly, I think it's about damn time I started looking after myself. YOLO.

Wishing everyone a lovely spring break!
love, c.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Thanks babybear.

1 - Who was the last person you texted?
My spethial friend, with a lithp.
2 - When is your birthday?
February 19
3 - Who do you want to be with right now?
I don't really know, honestly.
4 - What sports do you play?
Mario kart, basketball (sometimes), I'm already forcing myself to answer this question..
5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?
McLearan, tehee.
6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?
a$$, of course.
7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?
Someone hippie and relaxed.
8 - What do you feel right now?
Relaxed.
9 - What chocolate is your favorite?
Apollo strawberry and milk chocolate.
10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?
A very select few.
11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?
Because I'm internet-hip.
12 - Who is your favorite blogger?
keiko lynn and design for mankind
13 - Where do you want to be right now?
Out of the country, somewhere.
14 - What do you want to be in the future?
Happy, with a job where I dress up in the morning and have hip friends to have beer with after work. Then I go home to my dream flat.
15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?
About two weeks ago when I thought I was losing the best thing in my life. Fortunately, I was wrong.
16 - Are you happy?
For the most part.
17 - Who do you miss?
Everyone and no one. Kona.
18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?
No.
19 - What was the best thing you were given?
Love (so cheesy, sowwy)
20 - Who was the last person who called you?
Deanna.
21 - What is your favorite dish?
Hiyayakko.
22 - Who is your best friend?
I can always count on Callnoov, I can most of the time count on A, M and D.
23 - What is your biggest regret?
Not thinking seriously about my future earlier.
24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?
No partner, no problems.
25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?
Ceci.
26 - Name someone pretty.
Izzi.
27 - Who was the last person you hugged?
Nick, probably.
28 - What kind of music do you listen to?
Upbeat booty-shaking songs in the morning, sleepy songs for the rest of the day.
29 - Are you over your past?
For the most part
30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?
敬介ジョナサン柳川
31 - What kind of person do you want to date?
Someone who makes me feel safe.
32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?
No troubles if I sleep to a movie.
33 - From whom was the last text message you received?
Nicholi.
34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?
No pants at all.
35 - How’s your heart?
Cold and black, obviously.
36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?
None!
37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?
Myself.
38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?
I still talk to him and I've never been more honest.
39 - Do you have any phobias?
Spider bites and getting cross-faded, although I indulge in both every once in a while.
40 - Did you try to change for a person?
I never make an attempt, but I end up changing a bit.
41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?
I really liked the earrings + strawberry containers I gave M and L. But the nicest thing I've given someone is my time and dedication, fcker.
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?
We had a good time, but no.
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?
I'm in a pretty good mood right now (:
44 - Name someone you can’t live without.
Lately, I think that's Ceci.
45 - Describe your dream date.
Pizza, wine and a movie.
46 - Describe your dream wedding.
I've never been interested in planning one, but I expect my closest friends to be plastered.
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
None!
48 - Have you ever been kissed?
HAVE I EVER
49 - How long is your longest relationship?
10 months, maybe?
50 - Do you regret your past?
Very few things.
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?
I’ve done some pretty stupid things, yes.
52 - Have you ever cried over someone?
Yes, I have feelings sometimes.
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
I don't hold them very well, either.
54 - Are you a crybaby?
Rarely. I like to complain a lot too, though.
55 - Do people praise you for your looks?
I get the "cute" thing once in a while and I hate it.
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
Denzel, I guess.
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
Many things. My moral compass is completely out of whack.
58 - Do you like getting hurt?
A little bit, I suppose.
59 - Does anyone hate you?
No.
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
I haven't gotten around to slapping anyone quite yet.
61 - What hair color do you prefer?
Dark.
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
My lack of motivation.
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?
Yes.
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?
No.
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
None significant enough to mention.
66 - Can you live without internet?
I don't think so.
67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
Juicy-r by the notorious xx.
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
I'm really not.
69 - Are you a crybaby?
Shut up.
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
Yes.
71 - Are you a KPOP fan?
I'm not entirely opposed to it, but Ceci's obsession with it lately has made it much less appealing.
72 - Do you study hard?
I'm bad at studying hard. I do a little bit every day.
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?
Yes.
74 - Have you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
I have. I didn't realize I was such a cornball.
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
I think so.
76 - Did you have an accident last year?
Never (:
77 - What kind of person are you?
A little bit of everything. 
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?
Haha, not quite.
79 - Have you ever been jealous?
I can be a little green monster from time to time.
80 - How can you prove your love to someone?
I'm a great lover and I never have to prove shit.
81 - What are you thinking right now?
I'm such a sucker.
82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?
A boy that I dated for a week.
83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?
No (:
84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?
Yes.
85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?
All the time, and I ain't sorry.
86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?
I've had many.
87 - Do you have trust issues?
A little bit.
88 - Are you broken-hearted?
No.
89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?
Anchelle.
90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?
No. I can't stand pain. But if it seems worth it in the moment I'll deal.
91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?
Yes and no. I want to believe because I’m lazy, but I know that some effort is a necessary evil.
92 - Who do you want to marry?
None that I can think of, yet.
93 - Do you believe in destiny?
This relates to number 91.
94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?
Never.
95 - How do you look right now?
Like a cute piece of poop.
96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?
I agree that it will always be memorable, but everything is capable of decomposing.
97 - Have you found your true love?
Not yet.
98 - What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping and preparing for a day-long study session tomorrow.
99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.
WHY.
100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
Sometimes I have a moment of insecurity, but I get over it because I'm strong and beautiful. And usually I'm listening to Beyonce.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Wake me up, before you gogogogo

No one is capable of waking me up any more except myself. Ce has spent the past two mornings giving me numerous phone calls and heytells, but alas they have been proven ineffective. It's awful.

After threatening to punch her in an ungrateful, child-like morning tantrum, I left the house sans makeup to split her last cigarette. 
As we smoked I could feel her rush to leave--she spoke quickly and mentioned that she wanted to make it to class on time. Half asleep still, all I could do was sit on the curb and poke at the roly poly in front of me with a piece of grass I had belligerently pulled from the ground.

It's funny, how much dedication I had once put into collecting roly polies and placing them in small houses made of leaves as a 7 year-old. I also used to chase baby frogs in the forest and consequently end up with awful splinters and hives from unknown plants, all in the name of having a small pet.
Now I can barely touch anything with my bare hands. I've become delicate and prissy, but in this sunlight and soft breeze, such fact fortunately does not bother me enough to reconsider how I've grown apart from my innocence and desire to fill my life with tiny, germ-infested organisms.



Happy Tuesday, everyone.
love, c.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Mister golden sun.

The weather is great today, and I hate it. The sun drains all of my energy and breaking a sweat whilst walking briskly to class is my least favorite feeling.
No offense to the sun, you're really nice when you peek out from behind the clouds and are accompanied by a small breeze. But on your own you're a little unbearable.

Last night there was an impromptu mini Calle Nuevan reunion. We celebrated with W&W and I was once again reminded of what great friends I have. I had a lovely time and woke up feeling refreshed, contrary to what the circles under my eyes may suggest.

In other news:


Now I don't have to worry about going to class and instead become a hermit and write my papers.
It's crunch time (:

Wishing everyone a productive weekend.
love, c.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Lately.

1. Hot chocolate
2. Thinking
3. Papers
4. Hot chocolate
5. Dreaming of travelling
6. Class readings
7. Yoga
8. Pesto pasta
9. Tumblr

Life goes on. Time really doesn't wait for you to be miserable and that's the way I like it. Living it up since anything else is a waste of precious time.
Being single has been productive, to say the least.
I write this a lot, but I have really great friends. Thanks for taking care of me (:

Some photos from the weekend, by A.

Myself with some beauties.

West side, I guess.

Now it's time to finish up this essay. Wishing everyone a fantastic week!
love, c.